It was my first time after staying here for 13 months to walk the park downstairs. I ran out of ciggies for my congested brain so I decided to change and get my lazy self down to the minimart downstairs. Who wouldn't do the same for a chain-smoker like me? Many things have been weighing on my mind these couple of weeks that my face even showed signs of the stress! The acne is popping out again... ARGH~~!

Something has happened recently, I feel I'm back to 2005 when my life came crashing down after my breakup with (you know who) where I've to decide where to move to, how to move on.

Have you ever let your loved one disappoint you before? Time and again? Despite the many chances you have given, the effort you have put in to make sure he/she doesn't choose to lead the wrong path? Well, it just happened to me and I don't understand why. I've tried to get that someone to open up and feel comfortable about sharing his problems but everything seems to fail. Although words came out from between my lips comes out like needles or bullets from a machine gun everytime things happened, my heart is like a soft sponge. It pains me to see him go the wrong way again. But things can't be reversal after the many things that had been done. I've got frustrated, worried, upset but things can't and will never be the same as before. He has chosen his life path and we can only wish him well.


Apart from the b**ches and politics in office that I've tried my best not to get involved (but I don't know why I just can't escape and fend myself from), work is still okay. Though there has been a lot to do, I'm seriously thinking of how to improve. And I've been punctual at work for the past 2 - 3 weeks! It's something I'm really proud of which I don't practise for the last 5 years in this company. *heh*

My tear bud's dried up for ages and I have no outlet to vent my frustrations. And to add on to this emotional imbalance, I'm on 2 months of medication which I seriously believe is part of the cause of my current state of mind! But my poor baby stood by my nonsense and intolerable sh*t. I'm so glad to have him by me and walk this period with me. Thank you, baby! *huggz*